I move in two weeks.
Anna and i just got the most beautiful work of art. A bong worthy of maryjane herself. its name: da nigga kermit. a picture soon to come.
as for relationships i know some will be severed. One in particular......it really blows balls. I don't know whether to be happy about the times we've had or to feel betrayed. Obviously I know which one is more logical, but logic never made anyone feel better.
well i guess mad heads are just going to have to come visit so i dont feel lonely right? |
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Feb. 28th, 2007 @ 10:39 am
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I don't think I have updated in months. I don't know why......I have had a lot going on too. I haven't even been going on myspace or anything. I am just so over the computer. Except when it comes to downloading music. I spend at least like an hour a day dowloading music, and then sadly, my computer crashed. So thats probably why I am doin this now.
I am so content with my life right now. I am taking the good with the bad all in stride.
My parents divorce is now official, after over 5 years of separation. Between my parents it took 4 years of drinking excessive alcohol, a trip to rehab, a mental break-down, and many other nasty details, but what is done is done. I think My parents are both taking it well. I feel really bad for my dad, because it is his fault they divorced. He cheated on my mom like 10 years ago, and now he is losing his house, his wife, and his kids. Well actually it is open custody, but he is the one having to move out. Who knew one mistake could cost you everything. And after he had hought he got away with it for so long. I think it will be good for him though; I truly beleive you have to experience the worst before you can really know the good.
Me and my mom have gotten a lot closer. All in all, I think that when I move (which is in 4 and 1/2 months) I will miss her most. My mom is the coolest person you will ever meet. All her l;ife experiences have developed her into the sweetest person ever. She doesn't judge anyone for anything. I recently just admitted to my mom that I am sexually active. When you can tell your mom that then you know you have a good relationship. And she is the perfect balance of mom and friend. I can tell her shamelessly, and she is okay with it, but its not like we talk about our favorite positions. She is still protective over me, but at the same time accepting towards my decisions. I have the best mom in the whole world and I am so thankful for her.
I am also growing closer to my little brother. Which makes me extremely happy because I think on the inside the divorce is hardest for him. He is the sweetest kid ever and for being 14, I would say he has probably been through the most out of any jr higher i know.
I also have the most amazing boyfriend ever. March 8th will be a year. It is funny how fast thingsd have flown by. Everyday is a day in paradise with him. Even when we fight its like the only reason I am sad is not because I am scared our relationship will end, but the fact that I love him so much and I never want to hurt him. I know he feels the same way. He handles almost every situation I throw at him very maturely and i know he is sincere with all his words.
I am so happy with my life and I can't beleive I am moving so soon. July 14th will be a whole new beginning. |
i don't even know if she'll see this
so we got straight jewed today. some cop apparantly clocked her and i simultaneously today and pulled us both over at the same time.......is that even possible? he said i was going 51 and she was going 54......is that even possible? i just honestly don't even get it. i admit i was not going 35, but there was NO FUCKING WAY I was going 51. Like 45 MAX. this cop can suck a nut. we are taking his ass to court!
the funny thing is a family friend got pulled over by the same cop and he gave her a ticket for going 51 (coincidence?) and she was like are you sure i was going that fast i thought i was going like 40ish there was no way i was going that fast and the cop was like well maybe you shouldn't be on your cell phone and she wasn't. my favorite part is that she has one of those cars that you have to shift down in and she was in 1st gear and its not even possible for her to go that fast in 1st gear.
so maybe God will cut a some slack? please.......? |
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Nov. 13th, 2006 @ 08:26 pm
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i love my mommy i really do. I was thinking about thanksgiving and talking about it with someone and i realized i am most thankful to have her back in my life.
many may or may not know that she is a recovering alcoholic and i consider myself so lucky to have her back in my life. From 7th grade until junior year I felt like I didn't have a mom; like i lost her. Having her back in my life is the best thing in the whole world. I consider my mom the best mom in the world; we just got in a 5 year fight i guess you could say? |
I am so happy right now; I feel so loved. It is just one of those days where little things just make you feel so warm inside. It is pure REAL exctacy(the real definition).
So first off mad shout out K Pho for putting in a good word for me at PUMP IT UP! because i got hired on the spot and I couldn't be happier!
Oh but to back track a little basically I had been planning on going to SBCC with a-mo and anna bailey, but then no offense to a-mo, but she is very impulsive and changes her mind a lot(not a bad thing) but anyways so she decided that SBCC wasn't the right place for her, and it was so cute she like called and told me but it was like I was her boyfriend and she was breaking up with me. But I am actually really excited because she wants to go to San Fransisco and it's not like we are going to lose touch so it's almost like I get a weekend home in San Fransisco and vise versa. Our conversation ended with this statement "baby we can work this out. where there is a will there is a way; we can do long distance" god i love that girl!
Theeen I called anna bailey and i was kind of worried she would sketch if a-mo sketched, but she totally didn't and I am so excited cuz i know i am going to have so much fun with her.
Then the best part of my day is i was talking to my boyfriend about college and I was just talking about how i don't want to go away with no one, that I sort of need a comfort blanket friend if you will. And he was like "i can't be your comfort blanket?" and i dont know i guess that i was just sort of expecting a breakup because I didn't want to depend on having that relationship and then be horribly crushed but ANYWAYS we decided we are going to stay together and I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo incredibly happy about it. Then his mom invited me to her birthday dinner. Basically after today i pretty much know that this relationship is going to last a VERY long time.
Then just to top my day off Neda A. and Rachel V. call me and are on their way to kristing swinfords house and want me to come. 3 of the possibly chillest girls alive but that i rarely get to hang out with. Too bad I had work but still, the thought counts.
I love my life. I REALLY do! |
| » FIRST HC UPDATE! |
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Seriously one of the best nights of my life! My only compaint......the dj! WTF? I appreciate a variety of music....but you played crappy songs!!!!! Sweet Home Alabama, Panic! At the Disco, PARIS HILTON??? I mean really......who do you think you are? Canyon is not having luck with dj's for the last two dances! BUT I will give him MAD PROPS for Sandstorm and that amazing benny benassi satisfaction/i love my sex remix! Good stuff! My one wish is that at at least one dance this year (3 chances to go) I will hear a daft punk song played at a dance. I mean preferably One More Time or Around the World, but if i heard Technologic or Robot Rock or pretty much and daft punk song, that would make my life.
OH and btw, I have the sexiest boyfriends alive! We are so perfect; he means the world to me. Here are some pics for your enjoyment!<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Me and the lovely karolyn pho!
I think this is too cute!
We had the same shoes<3
my baby girl
I met an angel.
BGF(best glabs forever)
Best For Last<3
Oct. 1st, 2006 @ 07:47 pm
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| » ha. |
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SO volleyball......I am officially over it. I accept that i am a quitter. Whoever said that quitting was always bad? I mean I have put up with her shit for 2 years! I was told that i would never make varsity, i was cornered almost on a daily basis about how bad i was; I have put up with SO much. Everyone is saying I shouldn't let her ruin it for me that I should finish out the season. I am not going to let her ruin it for me and thats why i quit. She is embittering me not only to her but volleyball as well.
Also, she is so pathetic. She feeds off of our misery. ALl she does is pound balls that she KNOWS we could never get so that she can be like "you guys its not that hard all you have to is...."(whatever she feels like yeling at us about" then she demonstrates it and is like see its nto that hard. yeah ive been playing for years and have years of experiences yeah i won 4 championships yeah i played pac 10, but its not that hard!" Wherever she can whenever she can she just tal;ks about her glory days.
Well CONGRATULATIONS! Look where all thats gotten you? You've got 2 blown out knees. And you're a health teacher at canyon high school! And your miserable teaching to. ALl she does is bag on her students. Does that make you feel cool? Talking shit on 14 year olds? These aren't college essays! Well Mary, all I have to say is I hope your happy with all your "success." You are obviously where you want to be in life!!!
SO then there was all this crap about me coming back! THe condition was that I apologize. Yeah fuckin right! I don't feel sorry for what I said or how I said it. I think mary does'nt even want me back to play she just wants me to come back so that she can tell everyone that the whole situation is smoothed over because I apologized.....Even if I apologized just so I could go back and play that would be implying that there was something to be sorry for. Which there isn't. That was the truth from the bottom of my heart. The day I apologize to her is the day that she gets a life!
Sep. 27th, 2006 @ 07:13 pm
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eww i hate dr. phil! hate him and his horrible hick accent! personally i think the people on his show are promised vacations, money, homes, etc. for just pretending he is right. Oh and however many times they say "your right" or somehow agree with him their prize gets better. Well dr. phil your a faggot and i wouldn't pretend you are right for the most amazing vacation in the world. okay sorry my mom watches him everyday and he bugs the hell out of me!!!!!!!!!
yeah so hmmmm volleyball EVERYONE has probably heard by now.....i quit. long story short i couldn't put up with it anymore. I am allowed to go back though......but i just don't know. On one hand i love volleyball and i am not gonna lie it is probably the only thing i am good at. but on the other hand i quit for a reason and me going back would completely defeat the purpose of that. i dunno........its just so complicated.
homecoming: it's the only thing i got to keep me going. i love my boyfriend.
i look so beat, but it was from our 6 month celebration(aka 311,pepper, and the wailers concert) soi had to post it.
Sep. 25th, 2006 @ 04:20 pm
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So basically wow my coaches are so freaking retarted.........like it almost makes me laugh! Like i love my team its sad how much drama we are going through and honestly i see us coming through it doing pretty well and when we do i am going to let the oaches know it had nothing to do with them. like they be there physically but mentally i think they are pathetic. they threaten to walk out on us everyday. do they think that motivates us? i dont find inspiration in that......it just makes me hate them more! wow well we will just have to see.
i am not quiting i have decided.. i am going to stick it out......unless that is they say something just to ridiculous. and not because i can't handle it but just to prov to ther that she will lose valuable player(i am not saying i am like mvp status because i am not but i am leader on the court) by acting like the bitchass she is........
SO basically my my boyfriend is AMAZING! he is sooooooo sweet. he asked me to HC today by writing it really big in chalk outside my window and it was just really special because last night he came to my little brothers family dinner. and basically my mom like loves him. not gonna lie we give nick and courtney a run for their money. they are old news. me and stu are the new nick and courtney. j/k...?
wow i dont even know why i am in such a good mood right now but i love everyone even if i hate you so uhh yeah have a wonderful evening!
Sep. 20th, 2006 @ 08:39 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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hey so um basically i hate my life..........volleyball is killing me. SO there are 4 seniors rachel v, katy g, and vanessa b, and myself. Just by looking at us you can tell who the odd senior out is. Of course. But i always put that in the back of my mind. I always bust my ass work hard and earned my position as libero. THen today before the game i hear my coach talking to the el dorado coach and he asks her so how many seniors do you have her response was as follows "3 well4 but 3 that are essential they are all my height" fuck you you think i like being 5 "1"? does she really expect me to play well after hearing that? yeah that is my final draw...........
you know i really don't have any friends on that team i mean i love all the seniors but its not like we hang out outside of volleyball and it seems like everyday my friends are like "short day beach trip" and every day i am like i can't and it doesn't usually bother me, but for fucks sake if i am not even an essential member of the team than why waste my time?
on a lighter note i am so excited for homecoming.(well if i even go IF i still am playing volleyball i have tournament that day) i am on a diet. I want to be like nicole richie skinny because no matter how much shit you all talk on her you know she looks good thin!
Sep. 13th, 2006 @ 08:56 pm
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| » fuck ap english! |
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SO in ap english today my teacher instructs us to write a little paragraph about something she wants us to know about ourselves. We got 12 mintutes and I didn't know what to write, at the 2 min. warning I scribbled this:
Something I would like you to know about myself is that I do not do well with vague instructions. I overthink things, and sit in utter blankness until time runs out. Which is now.
Needless to say I dropped AP. But anyways Ahh I am sooooooo excited I have set myself up for the perfect senior year! Oh and basically everyone should love mrs. boyd! She works too hard for how little she gets paid! She is a saint!
So basically when I came to school this morning I had 0,3,5,6, and 9th periods. WTF no 1st, no 3rd or 4th? On even days i would have to go to 0 and 6th HOW GAY! Then I got my schedule changed to 1,2,3,4,5, and 9 but I don't want 6 classes my senior year! fuck that! Plus I was in AP english and psychology(which from what I hear is not hard at all, but the thing is I am just not down to any work even if it is easy. plus akins is my favorite teacher ever!) SO here is my schedule for senior year:
1)12 English-Akin
2)CEI
3)ECON-Davidson/GOV-Romelfanger(who I believe is former Ms. Jammeson)
4)T.A.-Takacs
9)Work Experience
And yes I am still doing volleyball, I am just not in that class so that when season is over I don't have to go to conditioning. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Aug. 31st, 2006 @ 06:45 pm
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| » show me the money. |
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Okay I am going to be honest. I consider myself a late bloomer. I feel as though I have just "come out of my shell" just within the last 6 months(funny, I have been with my boyfriend 5&1/2 months, coincidence....who knows?) but anywho I feel as though my social butterfly stage is just beginning.
Before I had a lot of friends, but I just was always like well if they want to hang out they'll call me. It is only just recently that I have figured out that that is nonsense. And I highly advise that if you have that mindset then you grow out of it. Life is 10x more fun. With that said I feel like I have grown into a an entirely new person. I have made so many relationships with so many new people. I am excited for my senior year. I know that every day is going to be lived to it's fullest with millions of crazy fucking twists and turns.
Also, I have learned to be comfortable in my own skin. Before I always tried to play of the image of a sweet little school girl/athlete who does her homework, gets good grades, and plays by the rules. At the same time I saw my best friend having the time of her life going to parties and venturing "the wild side" if you will, and I would always toe that line without actually crossing it. But honestly who cares about what people think about you. Do what you want when you want and people will learn to accept it, and if they don't that fuck them they are a bunch of bitches anyway.
I see it as if you move foward and expand your variety of surroundings then you meet new people along the way AND keep true friends(hello? win-win situation), but if your friends don't accept your changing ways then your just plain fucked because your trying to hold on to a crappy friendship and your screwed out of meeting new friends as well.
I really like who I have become. At volleyball camp I was labeled most competetive on the team. On the one-on-one meetings with my coach she told me that my improvement was unbelievable and that she doesn't even consider me the same player. It meant alot to me because I used to be so passive aggressive. I just as if I had learned to go for what I wanted. Also, today someone told me I should write a book on my motivational insights. Obviously she didn't mean it, but it's just nice to know that people take to heart what I have to say and that I am not just another wall flower. I am not saying this saying this to build myself up. I am just really excited that my life has taken such taken a sharp turn. I guess all in all my life lesson is that if you aren't satisfied with who you are then you, and only you, can change that.
Well, I guess this could kind of count as a book because it is probably like 9843270570732 pages long, but it was worth my time to write it. Plus, I got my phone and car taken away so it's not like I have any place better to be!
P.S. SHOW ME THE MONEY BY PETEY PABLO- I AM FUCKING OBSESSED. IT'S JUST SOOOOOO GOOD.
Aug. 29th, 2006 @ 09:24 pm
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Wow, this week is really sad for me. I just realized that at one point everyone has to grow up.
Like I kind of put it off, but I can't anymore. Like all my friends are leaving me and I've never felt so distraut. It's like wow the people you love aren't just there anymore. YOu have to stay in touch with them if you want your friendship to last. You have to work to for it ya know?
Jared Banner, Alec Goldman, Richie Harris, Matt Shapiro-All of them are leaving this week. And a lot of other people have already moved. I guess this is just hitting me really hard because all these were my good friends and them all leaving at once is just like .......fuck!
Then it made me realize like shit this is MY LAST YEAR. ANd it's exciting but sad at the same time. Like this is my my last summer as a high school student. August 3oth will be my last first day, and this will be my last homecoming. It's just all really sad to me.
Aug. 15th, 2006 @ 02:57 pm
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| » FUCK 08 |
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Soooooooooo apparantly there is much "chat" going 'round that the class of 08 believes that just because they dated all the senior guys last year think that that makes them rule the school next year. That next year is going to be like their senior year because they are superior to the class of 07.
NEWSFLASH: YOU AINT GOT SHIT. I FUCK BITCHES UP.
Jul. 19th, 2006 @ 11:22 pm
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| » Just can't live that negative way.........make way for the positive day! |
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So I realize that I am probably going to get mass amounts of shit for this, but hey BRING IT BITCHES. I do not withdraw my opinions to save the feelings of some. With that said I shall proceed.
I HATE this whole EMO movement. I just find it soooooooooooooooo funny how people wallow in there on sorrow. The truth is you make or break your own circumstances. I completely understand bad days, family problems, friend problems, etc. but letting that run your life is sad. If you let your world revolve around the negative things then you don't deserve happiness. I have my problems and I am not saying everyone should bottle themselvs up(I definitely don't think that is what should be done) but come on TIME AND PLACE. Don't make everywhere you go an emo-fest.
Oh and also when people try and cheer an "emo" person up they disregard it and just talk about how miserable their life is and there is no point in living because we are all going to die anyways in between fat drags on their cigs. Don't you ever fucking bring me down! I know something about shitty situations, but you either make your time worth while or you don't.....and frankly all you "emo" people out there I don't think you do.
Yeah put that in your joint and smoke it.....maybe then you won't be so miserable.
Jul. 18th, 2006 @ 10:43 am
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| » MORE PEOPLE SHOULD UPDATE I AM BORED. |
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So at this point my "summer" is quite miserable actually. Volleyball mon-thurs AM from 7-10 and again at 5 PM on mon/wed. Then tues./thurs/fri/sun i have work from 5-9. Basically i get sat. off. Oh and my dad has decided to only let me go out thurs-sat night. It's practically as bad as school.
Oh and also I never see my boyfriend. I am going insane. I hardly see anyone sun-wed cuz i can't go out at night, but now all our vacations are conflicting and basically i wont see him the entire month of august. K cool.
Also, all my friends are gone. Gina is in greece, ruth is in korea, stu is gone, FUCK MY LIFE. Everyone gets to do cools tuff, gbut oh get this! I am going to virginia! Yeah that's right bitches. Population barely breaking 3,000 where i am going. There are that many people at canyon every fucking day! FUCK THAT SHIT.
OH and i am obsessed with daft punk they are absolutely amazing! one more time is probably the BEST song ever. I highly suggest you watch the music video as well....talk about TRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPY.
Jul. 16th, 2006 @ 10:38 pm
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| » Same day hangover= NOT CHILL MAN! |
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So I set a personal record yesterday. I was straight hammed for 12 hours! I woke up at like 10 started taking shots at 11 and continued to drink for hours and by like 8 I called it quits.....then around 11:30 it finally started wearing off and by 12:30 I was hungover as fuck! Haha
Oh and the BEST part: SO after taking a couple shots we decide to go for a little bike ride and okay I can't ride a bike normally SO me being drunk riding a bike hahahaha I think you see where I am going....but yeah so I am doing good and halfway to the Hunnington pier (which is pretty good considering we started at 54th in Newport) I just swerve and I catch myself by hopping off the bike, but in the state of hilarity that i was in I tumble sideways with the bike on top of me. And all the bypassers yell "slow it down there alcoholic!" hahahahaha oh good times!
I am trying to learn to not get my feeling hurt so easily, but it's just so hard. Like the saying goes, "girls are psycho, and guys are dicks." I think both of us are giving it our best efforts, and in my opinion it's working out amazingly. He is my absolute everything. Saturday will be 4 months.....YAY! But from what I hear the 4th and 5th months are the hardest! BRING IT ON BITCH!
Basically last night was my final harrah for summer! I start volleyball tomorrow (well it started today, but um I was unable to attend) and bsaically it goes from 7:30-9:30 every morning, and on mondays/wednesdays it goes from 6-9 at night. Too bad I work teus/thurs/fri/sun 5-9. I get saturdays off. That goes until august 7th or something, then I get 2 weeks off then season officially starts and we have hell week(s).
So basically this is the end of my summer when everyone elses is only beginning. FUCK MY LIFE!
ham samich
uma,inga,oobi.......besties!
tony p.!
i have bad aim.
pole dancing......i guess you could say i have a lot of experience.
MY FAV.
Jul. 5th, 2006 @ 09:10 pm
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Yesterday I accidentally made the best discovery ever, a serendipity if you will. Blackberry green tea frappucinos. Probably one of the most delicious things ever! I ordered it thinking it was tea, but when I got it I didn't want to be a bitch so I tried it and it was phenomenal. Ahh I am so in love. Except for the fact that I go to starbucks like once in blue moon.
Jun. 23rd, 2006 @ 11:09 am
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| » Bleh! |
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SO I am feeling pretty bad right now.
I don't understand my weight. I honestly alternate between gaining and losing like 5 pounds every couple of days. It's not like I change my eating hbaits either, and no matter what I feel so gross. If the weight is on I feel fat and lethargic, but when I lose is it I feel really weak and exhausted.
Also my belly button ring got infected because I play volleyball with it in. It was the nastiest thing I have ever seen. I won't go into details, but i almost threw up when i realized it was infected.
Oh and I hate how skeptical I am. I always assume the worst so that If it does happen it won't have been unexpected. But i hate it because I always seem like a psycho to other people because I just get bummed out or hurt so easily.
And I realized that I am probably one of the least photogenic people alive. I can't smile, I have a weird nose, and missshapen chin. Plus my hair dresser who is usually amazing butchered my hair. I look ridiculous!
The only good thing I have to say right now is that my history teacher assigned a powerpoint on "someone famous who made in impact in the 50's, 60's, or 70's. so NATURALLY i chose Bob Marley. bahahaha. He totally meant someone political or what not, but eff that if you try and tell me Bob Marley did not make an impact I'll kill you, That is what he gets for being vague!!!!
Jun. 4th, 2006 @ 09:51 pm
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| » gender chameleon |
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omg i just watched like the last 3 minutes of "SO you think you can dance?" and there was this he-she. It was the funniest i have ever seen. It tore its wig of and omg hahahaha it was the creepiest thing ive eevr seen. but sooooooo funny. hahaha
May. 25th, 2006 @ 10:41 pm
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